I'm TIRED...


I wrote this 10 days ago when I was literally in the middle of a hectic week. Project after project, deadlines, follow ups, family and my 9-5 schedule.

I was just T I R E D. But not once did I want to give up, just wanted to get some sleep!

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Today was rough... I literally had to fight to keep my eyes open and force myself out of the bed this morning. I've exerted myself a bit too much the pass week or so.

Let me give some background info.

Every other morning, usually Tuesdays and Thursdays, I'd wake up at 4:35AM to drive my mom to the train station since she works in the city. On good days, I'd get dressed to go workout at the gym, but then days like this week, I come right back home and try to get some sleep before I get ready to commute to my 9-5. Today was a little different because I went to sleep after midnight twice in a row. Yeah, I should be getting more sleep. I like to set myself up for the next day especially when I have big projects due. I had 2 big projects due plus a smaller project that kind of received last minute attention.

So, I came back home and climbed into bed and laid there until I was finally was able to fall asleep. My alarm goes off at 6:35, my alarm for days I don't take my mom to the train and also the alarm I most times ignore otherwise. My goodness, I thought Saturday was bad when I woke up feeling like a bus had run me over after the neck and back pains I had experienced along with a tension headache Friday night. Today, I literally felt sick to my stomach, like when you over exert yourself during a workout and throw in general fatigue.

After making breakfast for my little family, I was starting to feel overwhelmed with what lied ahead for the day. I thought about staying home and my fiance even suggested I should take a day off. I should, but today is not the day and this week is not that week. These projects have deadlines. Clients are waiting for me to deliver my designs by the end of the day and staying home from my 9-5 was not going to relieve me of that.

I got ready and hopped in my car, turned on Myleik Teele's podcast and listened as I made the commute to work. I was a little late, but I made it in.

And then the Universe just wanted to test my willpower. Phone call after phone call and email after email. I found some balance in my day. I was able to joke with my coworker though today was a stressful day overall. I was able to deliver my projects, though one of them will need to revised.

Done is better than perfect.

I struggle with that. I have allowed the idea of perfect to stunt my growth in life...especially in college. I feared that my projects would not be good enough and, unfortunately, they weren't at times because of this fear. The projects were not completed to my best ability so it's obvious it wasn't going to make the cut, I wasn't getting a grade I hoped for. Procrastination is caused by this fear. I'd procrastinate because I didn't think I could create a design unique or cool enough. In the end, I lost valuable time that could be put into my projects instead of worrying about the end result. As with most creatives, I'm my biggest critic.

Now, 4 years out of school, working on my business and side hustle while employed full-time, I just get started. I start with the basics and build, layer after layer (this is a literal step when I'm working in Photoshop on renderings) and watch as the design grows. I do plenty of erasing and adding on, but I'm working. That's what matters. I make sure to take breaks, but I can see progress as I go on.

I don't mind staying up late and being tired because I know I have goals that I want to reach and there are tasks that need to be done. I do make sure after a week like this happens that I take a few days to slow down and get some rest. I don't get a lot of weeks like this since I try to keep my workload more or less evened out so I can work in my business, blog, post on social media, spend time with my family and have a little time to myself.

Today, 10 days later, I can reflect and see where I may have did things that attributed to the burnout I had. Here's a few points that I noticed:

-I should've went to bed at a decent time instead of pulling almost an all-nighter.

I am not in college anymore and I have a family that I need to tend to. I NEED my rest. Four hours or less sleep if not going to be beneficial. Caffeine will only make me feel jittery after a certain point, lol... I'm caffeine sensitive so anymore than a cup will do me no good even if I could use the small burst of energy. REST works better. I can wake up early to drop my mom off and get a fresh start with fresh & rested eyes.

-Overthinking is a mood killer.

I love being able to WOW my clients, but sometimes, I need to show them what my ideas without staring too hard at the Pinterest pins they love. A lot of times, my clients do not what their rooms to imitate those rooms, they simply like the color scheme or the layout or a specific piece. I usually know this ahead of time because I ask, but then some times, I start second guessing myself and get caught up scrolling through their ideas that I get lost and can't even remember what my original image was.

-Time management is key.

This is definitely a no brainer, but for me, it's always great to remind myself of that. Plan ahead, schedule in breaks and stay focused on the task at hand. I know I don't like multi-tasking though I find myself having to do so. What I do differently is set a time to work on a task, take a break and work on another task, come back to the first task and so on. I take into account the deadline for things and do my best to get as much completed as I can.

I hope this was helpful to you if you are in a similar boat!

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